To have a successful program there
must be understanding and cooperation among parents, swimmers, and
coaches. The progress your youngster makes depends to a great
extent on this triangular relationship. It is with this in mind
that we ask you to consider this section as you join the Highlander
Swim Club and reacquaint yourself with this section if you are a
returning Highlander Aquatic Club parent.
You have done a great deal to raise
your child. You create the environment in which they are
growing up. Your child is a product of your values, the
structure you have provided, and the model you have been.
Human nature, however, is such that a parent loses some of his/her
ability to remain detached and objective in matters concerning
his/her children's athletics. The following guidelines will help
you keep your child's development in the proper perspective and
help your child reach his/her full potential as an athlete.
The coach is the Coach!: We want your swimmer to relate to
his or her coach as soon as possible concerning swimming
matters. This relationship between coach and swimmer produces
best results. When parents interfere with opinions as to how
the swimmer should swim or train, it causes considerable, and
oftentimes insurmountable, confusion as to whom the swimmer should
listen to. If you have a problem, concern, or complaint,
please contact the coach. Best kind of parent: The coach's
job is to motivate and constructively criticize the swimmer's
performance. It is the parent's job to supply the love,
recognition, and encouragement necessary to make the child work
harder in practice, which in turn gives him/her the confidence to
perform well in competition.
Ten and Unders
Ten and Unders are the most inconsistent swimmers and this can be
frustrating for parents, coaches, and the swimmer alike!
Parents and coaches must be patient and permit these youngsters to
learn to love the sport. When a young swimmer first joins the
Highlander Aquatic Club, there may be a brief period in which
he/she appears to slow down. This is a result of the added
concentration on stroke technique, but this will soon lead to much
faster swims for the individual. Even the very best swimmer
will have meets where they do not do their best times. These
"plateaus" are a normal part of swimming. Over the course of a
season times should improve. Please be supportive of these
"poor" meets. The older swimmers may have only two or three
meets a year for which they will be rested and tapered.
Problems with the coach?
One of the traditional swim team communication gaps is that some
parents seem to feel more comfortable in discussing their
disagreements over coaching philosophy with other parents rather
than taking them directly to the coach. Not only is the
problem never resolved that way, but in fact this approach often
results in new problems being created. Listed below are some
guidelines for a parent raising some difficult issues with a
coach:
- Try to keep foremost in your mind
that you and the coach have the best interests of your child at
heart. If you trust that the coach's goals match yours, even
though his/her approach may be different, you are more likely to
enjoy good rapport and a constructive dialogue.
- Keep in mind that the coach must
balance your perspective of what is best for your child with the
needs of the team or a training group that can range in size from
10-50 members. On occasion, an individual child's interest may need
to be subordinate to the interests of the group, but in the long
run the benefits of membership in the group compensate for
occasional short term inconvenience.
- If your child swims for an
assistant coach, always discuss the matter first with that coach,
following the same guidelines and preconceptions noted above. If
the assistant coach cannot satisfactorily resolve your concern,
then ask that the head age group coach or head coach join the
dialogue as a third party.
- If another parent uses you as a
sounding board for complaints about the coach's performance or
policies, listen empathetically, but encourage the other parent to
speak directly to the coach. He/she is the only one who can
resolve the problem.
The Ten Commandments For Parents of Athletic
Children
Reprinted from The Young Athlete by Bill Burgess
included in "The Swim Parents Newsletter"
- Make sure your child knows that -
win or lose, scared or heroic -- you love him/her, appreciate their
efforts, and are not disappointed in them. This will allow
then to do their best without a fear of failure. Be the person in
their life they can look to for constant positive
reinforcement.
- Try your best to be completely
honest about your child's athletic ability, his/hers competitive
attitude, their sportsmanship, and their actual skill level.
- Be helpful, but don’t coach
him/her on the way to the pool or on the way back, or at breakfast,
and so on. It’s tough not to, but it’s a lot tougher
for the child to be inundated with advice, pep talks and often
critical instruction.
- Teach them to enjoy the thrill of
competition, to be "out there trying," to be working to improve
his/her swimming skills and attitudes. Help him/her to develop the
feel for competing, for trying hard, for having fun.
- Try not to relive your athletic
life through your child in a way that creates pressure; you lost as
well as won. You were frightened, you backed off at times, you were
not always heroic. Don’t pressure your child because of your
pride. Athletic children need their parents so you must not
withdraw. Just remember there is a thinking, feeling, sensitive
free spirit out there in that uniform who needs a lot of
understanding, especially when his world turns bad. If he/she is
comfortable with you -- win or lose -- he/she is on their way to
maximum achievement and enjoyment.
- Don’t compete with the
coach. If the coach becomes an authority figure, it will run from
enchantment to disenchantment, etc.., with your
athlete.
- Don’t compare the skill,
courage, or attitudes of your child with other members of the team,
at least within his/her hearing.
- Get to know the coach so that you
can be assured that his/her philosophy, attitudes, ethics, and
knowledge are such that you are happy to have your child under
his/her leadership.
- Always remember that children tend
to exaggerate, both when praised and when criticized. Temper your
reaction and investigate before over-reacting.
- Make a point of understanding
courage, and the fact that it is relative. Some of us can climb
mountains, and are afraid to fight. Some of us will fight,
but turn to jelly if a bee approaches. Everyone is frightened
in certain areas. Explain that courage is not the absence of
fear, but a means of doing something in spite of fear of
discomfort.
Great spirits have always encountered violent
opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein
