Because They MUST Fail
Rick Boucher
Head Age Group Coach
STAR Swimming
Amherst, NY
With fifteen years of coaching in this sport of swimming,
I have come to notice a few things that happen on each and every team I have
ever worked with. Parents and swimmers, regardless of their location in
this country, have similar issues at specific points of their swimming
careers. I would love to address the “First Swim Meet” issue.
The “First Swim Meet” issue has been addressed on every
team I have ever coached. Swimmers and parents are uncomfortable when it
comes to attempting their first swim meet. It is an unknown for both of
them. Children tend to be so upset at the thought of having to compete,
that they somehow convince their parents that they should not, or cannot be
competing at their level. What do I think? Attend the first swim
meet offered to your child regardless of how you feel about your child’s
ability and how they feel about competing.
Here’s why…Every person MUST FAIL in order to become
better! Think about this for a moment. Would you be where you are
today in your career if you would have only succeeded? I know that I
would not. Some of my greatest professional successes have come through
having what I would consider a “horrible season”.
Children are afraid of swim meets because they are
“scary”. A new swimmer knows they are not going to win. They know
that they may get disqualified. They understand that it is going to be
hard work. They become overwhelmed with the anxiety of having to step out
of their “comfort zone” and actually challenge themselves to a level they never
have before. PERFECT! This is what it takes to become an
outstanding individual. Not just in swimming, but in life.
A ten year old child knows very little about trial and
error. They understand the school system and its grading process, but
outside of this, children have had very little trial and error elsewhere.
If they have played in a “team sport”, then they have been judged on a “team
level” and not as an “individual”. Being ranked as an individual is
“scary.”
In basketball, if you don’t get the ball at a time when
you can shoot, then it’s not your fault you didn’t score a point. In
football, if you do your part on the field as a linesman and the quarterback’s
passing is off, then it’s not your fault. There are so many other avenues
to place blame and accept the defeat in a form that allows you to continue
telling yourself that you played a great game. In swimming, there are
none. It is all up to them. They are the ones who either make or
break their performance.
This is to me, the most perfect part of the sport.
It makes young athletes look at their performance at practice and reconsider if
they are doing everything they can in order to become better. Swimming
encourages young children and young adults to actually look at themselves and
re-evaluate themselves. How wonderful is that? It’s also wonderful
to hear from a child that they plan on listening better at practice because
they really want to learn more about a specific stroke or race.
Failure….
- Leads strong-minded children into their success.
- Upsets them enough to make them take control of their
own actions.
In swimming there are no guarantees. No coach can
look at an athlete and say “You know what? You’re going to become a state
record holder”, or “Pack your bags kiddo, ‘cause in four more years I know
you’re heading to the Olympics”. Trust me, after all of the years I’ve
placed into this sport, I wish I could do this. It would make life so
much easier for myself, parents, and athletes.
What a coach can promise is that through hard work,
dedication, commitment, perseverance and FAILING, your child can become a
person who understands more about themselves than most individuals their age.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that one of the key
ingredients to all of my past athletes reaching their potential is
failure. All of them have failed more than they succeeded. Some
failures were large, other were minor. Most children will fail, learn
from their mistakes, and fail again, but with fewer mistakes and so on.
The reducing of failures is their improvement, dedication, and
perseverance. They should be praised for their efforts and encouraged to
continue on their quest.
That’s what a coach does, they encourage young, learning
athletes to strive for more and always push themselves. It is a coach’s
job and duty to keep these children understanding why we strive and how great
it feels to achieve.
So here’s what I have to say…
Let your child fail. Don’t encourage “failure,” but
understand it. Understand that failing is a process that is needed in
order to succeed. Encourage your child to step out from their “comfort
zone” and challenge themselves to a level that they may not think they can
attain. Why? Because once they push themselves to that new level, they
may realize that they are much faster, stronger, and just plain old better they
ever thought they could be.
Parents should…
- Assist the coach in getting all that they can from
their young athlete and properly challenging
their child.
- Realize that their children are afraid. It’s
nerve-racking to try something new and have so
many eyes on you.
- Comfort their children and continually reinforce the
fact that “effort” is to be praised and that
“failure” is part of the process
of becoming great.
- Reinforce the fact that doing something that they’ve
never done before is wonderful and the
chance they have been given to
challenge themselves is a blessing in disguise.