News For
SWIM PARENTS
Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21 Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale FL 33309
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Because They MUST Fail
Rick Boucher
Head Age Group Coach
STAR Swimming (UB Amherst Site)
Amherst, NY
With fifteen years of coaching in this sport of swimming, I have come to
notice a few things that happen on each and every team I have ever worked with.
Parents and swimmers, regardless of their location in this country, have similar
issues at specific points of their swimming careers. I would love to
address the “First Swim Meet” issue.
The “First Swim Meet” issue has been addressed on every team I have ever
coached. Swimmers and parents are uncomfortable when it comes to
attempting their first swim meet. It is an unknown for both of them.
Children tend to be so upset at the thought of having to compete, that they
somehow convince their parents that they should not, or can not be competing at
their level. What do I think? Attend the first swim meet offered to
your child regardless of how you feel about your child’s ability and how they
feel about competing.
Here’s why…Every person MUST FAIL in order to become better! Think
about this for a moment. Would you be where you are today in your career
if you would have only succeeded? I know that I would not. Some of
my greatest professional successes have come through having what I would
consider a “horrible season”.
Children are afraid of swim meets because they are “scary”. A new
swimmer knows they are not going to win. They know that they may get
disqualified. They understand that it is going to be hard work. They
become overwhelmed with the anxiety of having to step out of their “comfort
zone” and actually challenge themselves to a level they never have before.
PERFECT! This is what it takes to become an outstanding individual.
Not just in swimming, but in life.
A ten year old child knows very little about trial and error. They
understand the school system and its grading process, but outside of this,
children have had very little trial and error elsewhere. If they have
played in a “team sport”, then they have been judged on a “team level” and not
as an “individual”. Being ranked as an individual is “scary.”
In basketball, if you don’t get the ball at a time when you can shoot, then
it’s not your fault you didn’t score a point. In football, if you do your
part on the field as a linesman and the quarterback’s passing is off, then it’s
not your fault. There are so many other avenues to place blame and accept
the defeat in a form that allows you to continue telling yourself that you
played a great game. In swimming, there are none. It is all up to
them. They are the ones who either make or break their performance.
This is to me, the most perfect part of the sport. It makes young
athletes look at their performance at practice and reconsider if they are doing
everything they can in order to become better. Swimming encourages young
children and young adults to actually look at themselves and re-evaluate
themselves. How wonderful is that? It’s also wonderful to hear from
a child that they plan on listening better at practice because they really want
to learn more about a specific stroke or race.
Failure….
- Leads strong-minded children into their success.
- Upsets them enough to make them take control of their own actions.
In swimming there are no guarantees. No coach can look at an athlete
and say “You know what? You’re going to become a state record holder”, or
“Pack your bags kiddo, ‘cause in four more years I know you’re heading to the
Olympics”. Trust me, after all of the years I’ve placed into this sport, I
wish I could do this. It would make life so much easier for myself,
parents, and athletes.
What a coach can promise is that through hard work, dedication, commitment,
perseverance and FAILING, your child can become a person who understands more
about themselves than most individuals their age.
It’s taken me a long time to realize that one of the key ingredients to all
of my past athletes reaching their potential is failure. All of them have
failed more than they succeeded. Some failures were large, other were
minor. Most children will fail, learn from their mistakes, and fail again,
but with fewer mistakes and so on. The reducing of failures is their
improvement, dedication, and perseverance. They should be praised for
their efforts and encouraged to continue on their quest.
That’s what a coach does, they encourage young, learning athletes to strive
for more and always push themselves. It is a coach’s job and duty to keep
these children understanding why we strive and how great it feels to achieve.
So here’s what I have to say…
Let your child fail. Don’t encourage “failure,” but understand it.
Understand that failing is a process that is needed in order to succeed.
Encourage your child to step out from their “comfort zone” and challenge
themselves to a level that they may not think they can attain. Why?
Because once they push themselves to that new level, they may realize that they
are much faster, stronger, and just plain old better they ever thought they
could be.
Parents should…
- Assist the coach in getting all that they can from their young athlete and
properly challenging
their child.
- Realize that their children are afraid. It’s nerve-racking to try
something new and have so
many eyes on you.
- Comfort their children and continually reinforce the fact that “effort” is
to be praised and that
“failure” is part of the process of becoming great.
- Get their children involved. Drive them to the swim meet. Be
their biggest cheerleader. Make
sure you love them regardless of what place they take in their events.
- Reinforce the fact that doing something that they’ve never done before is
wonderful and the
chance they have been given to challenge themselves is a blessing in
disguise.
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Swim Parent News. Send submissions to
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