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July 15, 2014 |
Have You Taught Your Child to Learn?
by David Benzel, Growing Champions For Life
Mark Twain once said, "A man who does not read a book is no
wiser than the man who can't read one." Could it also be said that
an athlete who does not listen to a coach has learned as much as
the athlete who does not have a coach?
The greatest miscalculation about youth sports today can be found
where learning is not the top priority; where competition, winning,
and rankings are given more attention than learning. When a
calendar-packed game schedule and the scoreboard are the focus of
your energy, the tail is wagging the dog. A young athlete needs
four to five times as much deliberate practice as he needs
competition to truly learn the necessary skills.
Since learning and development is job #1 it's worth asking, "Has
your child been taught the necessary mindset to be a true learner
during practice?" The answer is not as obvious as it might seem.
Many athletes treat practice sessions as a time to "show what I can
do" instead of a time to "see what I can learn." The difference is
huge.
Learning requires a kind of humility that admits there is much to
be learned and "I don't know it all yet." A child has to view
herself as a work in progress, and be perfectly fine with being a
student-of-the-sport. With this approach a child can view every
attempt and every mistake as an opportunity for the body and mind
to work together in the mysterious journey called skill
development. This requires a no-pressure environment where the rate
of learning is acknowledged to be a variable from child to child.
"What did your body learn today?" is a more important question than
"Did you win today?"
As the parent of an athlete your role is essential for having
realistic expectations about the challenges of learning new skills
and the time it takes. Comparing your child's rate of learning a
particular skill to another child is not only worthless, it's
harmful. Children develop at different speeds and at different
times. The neurological development is in process all the way to
age 13 or 14. The musculature development is in process up until 17
or 18. True skill mastery is not realistic until after all the
internal systems are fully developed and yet some parents look at
their kids and think, "Why can't you do that perfectly by now? ---
you've been playing since you were 4!"
There's nothing as satisfying as learning. The ultimate journey
from "I can't yet" to "Now I can" is thrilling. But it comes to
those who recognize this as a process of seeking answers, tapping
into coaching resources, and a trial and error process on the very
edge of one's capabilities. It requires patience and a humble
spirit supported by parents who have faith in their athlete's
ability to learn. The same faith you had when your children took
their first steps....and fell down. You had no doubt about how that
challenge would turn out! Have the same faith now.
