November 4, 2013
A CALL TO ARMS!
Man your battle stations, Stingrays! The Swim-a-Thon is only 2 weeks away, and the fundraising period for it ends in just 3 weeks. We have already made some good progress with our fundraising efforts but still have a ways to go in order to reach our team goal. Thank you for all those who have started your personal fight of fundraising for the team. Your countrymen and women will be very proud as well since you are helping them BATTLE in the WAR FOR ICE CREAM!
However, Ice Cream is NOT the only prize at stake based on your fundraising for the Swim-a-Thon. As an individual Stingray, you could earn a number of different prizes from Stingrays and USA Swimming based on the dollar amount raised individually during the fundraising period. This prize list can be found online.
With so much to fight for, every single day serves as an opportunity to make progress towards your team, country, and personal fundraising goals. TODAY could be the day that you become a FUNDRAISING CHAMPION!
As such, think (RIGHT NOW) about who may be willing to support you in your swimming and then share your excitement for the team and sport with them! People will sense your passion and get excited to fight this battle with you! The Team Unified Swim-a-Thon email and easy online donating will make this fun and easy to share with many potential supporters! Set out to build your own fundraising ARMY this way!
Below are notes from each country ruler with their “Presidential Address” for a CALL TO ARMS! There is a diverse variety of weapons between the 4 countries including Pears, Kielbasas, Barry Manilow, and the Stingrays 5 Core Values. All of these, along with your ruler’s country-wide “pep talk”, will surely make for an epic battle for Ice Cream and Prizes. So, read on with anticipation and MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS!
Let it be known that upon the dates of this November 18th-22nd, in the year of our lord two thousand and thirteen, we shall embark upon a great and noble quest. One that is sure to bring fame and great fortune to our great land of florin.
We set out to win the hand of a fair maiden for marriage…er…well not exactly. Perhaps it’s better described as a search for eternal redemption…er…maybe not! We may look upon it as a desire win gold! Yes! That’s it…gold! In this case, gold will take the form of an icy refreshment!
No matter what the prize, we florininites are prepared to defeat all that stand in our path! But we must prepare!
I have sent our 4 fastest ships, one in each direction, to search for such treasure. Our ultimate success will come from you…the great people which I serve! So take arms fellow citizens, go forth and be pro-active in your pursuit of that which we seek!
I shall, as always, remain behind and wait in earnest for your bounty!
-your leader in hiding…
Viscount baer, esq.
Directive from: Czar Redd, the Odious
To: Oosassasan Citizens
Re: Funding the Kielbasa Armory
With the passing of the 43rd anniversary of our defeat of Baer III and his witless Bratwurstians we again stand proud in the shadow of our great heritage. We remember that were it not for the wisdom and forethought of Reddeford, my father, to stock the pantry with many comically oversized kielbasas that we might still be in the mustard-stained grip of the Bratwursts. Or, even wurst...I mean, worse...the awful Florinites, lead by the balding Viscount Baer. (You may now collectively shudder.) Many thought Reddeford to be daft in his strategy to build a strong pantry for the royalty. But, his spending of national treasure to have the largest store of kielbasas proved to be wise indeed. Many thought he should build up the Oosassasan Assassins as a prudent way to strengthen our defenses. Or, even the Navy. But, Reddeford, in his visionary methods, recognized that Fultilia is in the mountains and did not need a navy. (We now know that Genovian spies had infiltrated our courts and began a whisper campaign to develop the navy. Those spies were put in barrels and rolled away.)
It is with this in mind that I write.
Oosassasans: we must rebuild our national treasure. We must remain strong in our ability to produce that which we eat AND defend ourselves with the same. As we speak, the Genovians are on the verge of harvesting a yield of pears not seen in 100 years. Even if they continue with their history of hurling mushy pears, we cannot allow our ability to defend lapse into complacency. We must have the kielbasas to hit any and all incoming pears. Maeta, a peace-loving country, but run by the self-named, young and impetuous David the Great, has run into financial hardship and may be aligning with the (insert GASP)...Florinites. Yes, again with the Florinites and Viscount Baer. We know that Maeta would not, without the spells of trickery and deceit, willingly ally itself with the Florinites. (Oh, if Guilder could rise again from the trash heap that is Florin's backyard!)
So, what do we do, Oosassasans? We raise money through the Swim-A-Thon! We get out there! Shake the trees! Win some prizes! Our National Security is at risk. Genovians, Florinites and Maetians are building theirs as well and we must...NAY...WE WILL exceed them all!
(Plus, Czar Redd wants an Ice Cream Party!)
This Message is brought to you by the Genovian National Awesomeness Awareness Alert system. This is NOT a test. Repeat: This is NOT a test.
As I stand before you, looking out over our castle gates in Genovian Pear-adise, I fear what may be to come. To my great dismay, our country’s reputation for Awesomeness has now become the talk of the world. Normally, being awesome is a good thing but NOT when competing in an epic Ice Cream Contest against countries who find such awesomeness a threat.
Even though we tried to keep a low profile so as to not draw attention to our awesomeness for the sake of the competition, a few of our country’s top Ice Cream Spies were found and captured in the land of Oosassasa. Our citizens’ awesomeness, even when undercover, stood out like a sore thumb there giving away their non-Osassasan origin. After being tickled in terror with kielbasa in order to give up our country’s awesome secrets for Ice Cream Domination, our brave warriors were placed in barrels and rolled down enemy streets.
Upon receiving message of this sad turn of events, I immediately ordered our other Ice Cream Spies to return home from their missions in Florin and Maeta. Fortunately, those spies were able to gather valuable Intel while in these enemy lands despite their early departure. We are more knowledgeable now about our competitors’ land and weaknesses such as Florin’s weak city walls (where legend has it a poor egg fell off and could not be put back together) and Maeta’s country wide aversion to orange smoothies. Our Ice Cream Spies did their jobs in bringing us back this intelligence information, but the threat to Genovia is still at hand given the awareness the world now has of our awesomeness.
It is because of this emergency that I have to sound the Awesomeness Awareness Alert sirens and call all Genovian citizens to man their battle stations. We must prepare for a fight, Genovia.
While we have our country’s largest ever Pear harvest on its way, we cannot rely on pears alone to defend our great nation. In fact, princesses from lands far and wide are sending in their country’s own reinforcements to help us in this battle. Cinderella is sending over abandoned glass slippers. Snow White is giving us dozens of poisoned apples. Ariel is shipping over feisty lobsters and crabs. Jasmine is flying in magical carpets and lamps. Belle is mailing over used books. The list of possible projectiles and weaponry goes on and on, and we could not be more grateful for this support from fellow Princesses. However, there is still more to do in order to win the War for Ice Cream.
EACH and EVERY Genovian citizen is being asked to take personal responsibility for their individual fight in this war. Your Swim-a-thon fundraising donations to our cause will make our ordinary fight an extraordinary win. Go out there TODAY, and fight the good fight, Genovia! There is not a moment to lose!
The time has come for us to unite as one, to work together to achieve our goal of greatness during this time of the Rays Swim-A-Thon. We have made great strides in reaching our goal but now it is time to take that next step and separate ourselves from the other countries. The standard of Maeta is greatness. It was Mae's core values that inspired greatness.
His core values were:
1. We are Disciplined
2. We are Loyal.
3. We are Honest.
4. We are Respectful.
5. We are Dedicated.
If you follow these core values, nothing shall stand in your way.
The time is now and we have the challenge in front of us. We will succeed with your efforts by obtaining those contributions and donations to our cause. Our cause is GREATNESS and we have no other option but to succeed.
David The Great