November 13, 2013
THE FINAL CHARGE!
The time has come, Stingrays: The Swim-a-Thon is NEXT week, and THE FINAL CHARGE for fundraising to reach our team goal is upon us. Each and every remaining day can serve as a step forward towards your personal fundraising goals as well as help be a part of the final push for your countrymen and women to WIN THE WAR FOR ICE CREAM. Below are the final notes from each country’s ruler to lead you on to victory (and ice cream):
A Final Call to Arms!
Come one, come all! Our task it at hand! The moment of indecision will only delay the inevitable! To the ramparts we must fly! The enemy is numerous, the odds may be against us, but forward we shall strive and ultimately we shall conquer the day!
To some this may seem a mere tryst or folly, yet do not be mistaken…this is a quest of the magnitude that few generations have encountered, and fewer have embraced. We will be strong in our resolve, we will be true to our morals and together we will see this through.
I have such deep admiration and trust in you, my loyal subjects, that you will step up and raise the standard! Our flag will be hoisted upon the tallest pole on the highest mountain! We will succeed where others dally in inconsequential futility!
In the end, we alone will stand up and claim that icy delicacy that we so richly earned! I myself will be so giddy with pride, that the largest double serving of such a treat will not quench my hunger! Believe me, I shall attempt to do so!
So I implore you to sally forth into the great unknown with assurance that as I remain here, cozy and safe that my heart goes with you!
Good Luck and God Bless!
In less than one week and as one country, we will take to the waters and show the world what true Oosassasan unity means.
By now, I trust, you have garnered the necessary support for this upcoming endeavor. If you have not, it is not too late! You may still collect on behalf of the National Kielbasa Armory Defense. (Never, ever forget that the Genovians will gladly and with reckless disregard hurl their surplus pears at us. Be ever mindful of the Maetans; though they be of high character, they are now likely a puppet regime of the (trying not to vomit here...breathe easy, Big Redd...breathe easy) Florinites.)
Our defenses rest in your hands, Oosassasans. Viscount Baer is likely counting his money now and eating cheese doodles. I can hardly baer to think of those sticky orange fingers thumbing through all that ill-gotten cash.
This must not come to pass!
Rise now, Oosassasans! Kielbasas and barrels hang in the balance. SING YOUR NATIONAL ANTHEM!
Did I mention we could win an ice cream party?
CZAR REDD, the Odious
Straight from the pear-shaped desk of Princess Kim comes this important note:
It is with great pride that I write you today as we approach our moment of glorious victory. The Swim-a-Thon, once thought to be ordinary but now extraordinary, is NEXT WEEK. Yes…. The time for our National Awesomeness to shine (without fear of further threatening the many less-awesome nations surrounding us) is at hand.
We have prepared our nation well so far in gathering our greatest harvest of excess pears as well as collected the great charity donations of fellow Princesses across the world including high heels, yucky apples, sea creatures, magical lamps, flying carpets, and books. This diverse armory assortment would make any nation quiver in confusion. As such, I am confident that we will win this war for ICE CREAM.
HOWEVER, you can never be too careful when ice cream is at stake. As such, I have decided to use my executive Princess-Pear-Power to order the making of the:
Pear-Hurler 10,000: The greatest Pear Hurler Cannon machine EVER made. That’s right, Genovians. We will have access to a cannon so powerful it will turn ALL of our projectiles into SCARY flying objects that NEVER miss the target. How does it do this you ask? Well, first, it automatically paints a frowny face on each and every object before then hurling it with awesome strength and accuracy at our oncoming enemies. There will barely be time for them to react in confusion before the terror of their sad loss hits them. ICE CREAM will be ours (so, of course, I opted for the upgraded pear hurler that has anti-melting ice cream holders on the sides for us all).
The small catch to this great purchase is that it requires one FINAL PUSH from each and every Genovian citizen to raise the most funds for the Swim-a-Thon fight as possible. Go out there and spread the news of how GREAT your country, swim team, and sport are to you. Share the news of this fight, and have fun sharing the opportunity to fight with us. You never know who might like to join us until you ask!
I’ll leave you with this: The final verdict of who is most awesome in all the land is about to be announced, and we all know the answer (us!). However, poor Florin, Oosassasa, and Maeta are likely still hoping they stand a chance in this battle (how cute!). Anyways, we MUST finish this fight well in order look as if we thought there was some chance of a loss on our part. SO, go do your best for our nation and swim team. I believe in you, Genovia!
This is it. This is the final push. We have come so far and I am not going to let the ruler of Oosassasa, Florin or Genovia have the last laugh. We have been here before and once again we will prevail!
I am asking you, Mineon Leaders of Maeta to travel to the greatest depths of Hightower Sea, the highest peak of Baer Mountain in Packer Land and finally the palace of Kim (even though it's a small palace) haha. I have heard that it where the GOLD and TREASURE is. If there is Gold and Treasure we must find it. The price of ice cream is very expensive and we need all of the Gold and Treasure that we can get. We must be quick in this matter as I have heard that other countries are trying to beat us to these places and take the Gold and Treasure. That must, and WILL NOT happen. We always prevail in whatever we do as that is what sets us apart from the other countries on this planet.
Remember it is our teamwork that generates our success. Live by the Core Values that you and I cherish so much. Find that Gold and Treasure for the safety not only of our people in Maeta, but also the safety of the Ice Cream. I have heard a rumor that other countries want to burn all of the ice cream on the planet. We cannot and will not let that happen.
I wish all of you the best in your travels and your mission. Good Luck!