News For
SWIM PARENTS
Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21 Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale FL 33309
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Kids and Two-Career Parents
The
prototypical swimming mother, renowned for devoting herself wholly to her
children's swimming careers is nearly an extinct species. With both
parents working in 70% of households, the old swimming mom is now a career mom,
with all the stresses and complications that brings. And that means
everybody in the world of age group swimming must adjust - from coaches who will
have to be more reasonable in enforcing rules on practice attendance and
punctuality...to parents who must plan more thoroughly to arrange kids
transportation from school or home to an afternoon practice session...to the
demands the sport makes on families who must give up now-precious weekends to
attend meets.
Making
time for kids, jobs, and the personal needs of every family member is the
greatest challenge in the two-career family. A child who feels neglected
by busy parents will feel resentful. Here are some hints adapted from
PARENTS
magazine on how to prevent kids from feeling neglected.
It's
important for kids to feel they're not competing for attention with their
parents' careers. Dr. James Comer, professor of child psychology at Yale
University suggests putting your child's practices, competitions, and special
events on your work calendar and trying to plan work requirements around them.
If one parent has a more flexible schedule than the other at particular times,
that parent would take on greater responsibility for involvement in swimming
activities. Whenever schedules permit, both parents should attend the
kids' activities. When neither parent is available, make arrangements for
the children to call on neighbors or nearby relatives.
Dr. Comer
also suggests parents should be willing to receive a call at work from their
children at any time. If an ethos of cooperation and teamwork evolves
through honest and open communication of the reasons for both parents working,
children will be unlikely to abuse the privilege. This can also be an
opportunity to give children added responsibilities and a meaningful role to
play in achieving family goals. Parents who actively plan for and show a
clear interest in their children's activities will find that the kids, in
return, respect the needs of their parents.
Above
all, Dr.Comer stresses the importance of listening to the children's concerns
and being willing to acknowledge the shortcomings of the situation to address
the kinds of plans and cooperation needed for all family members to have their
needs met.