News For
SWIM PARENTS
Published by
The American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21
Ave., Suite 200
Fort
Lauderdale FL 33309
___________________________________________________________________
Turning
Obstacles Into Opportunities
Coping With
Adversity is the Key
Dr. Scoresby, Ph.D
Nothing in the world will take the place of persistence. Talent will not;
nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not;
unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of
educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.
The slogan, “Press on” has evolved and always will solve the problems of the
human race. -Calvin Coolidge
Some parents think they can make sure their child has good self-esteem if they
can shelter or protect her from trials, frustration, uncertainties and setbacks.
The opposite is true. Their continual attempts to make their child happy
and to protect her from every potential unpleasantness will most likely
undermine her self-esteem. Allowing your child room to grow, make
mistakes, deal with defeat and overcome problems is essential in the development
of healthy self-esteem. You cannot bestow self-esteem, but you can help
your child develop it by:
·
Helping your child set goals
·
Encouraging your child to challenge himself and improve his talents
·
Giving your child chores and responsibilities appropriate to his age and ability
·
Teaching your child that he is responsible for his own happiness and
accomplishments
·
Providing academic and psychological support
By allowing your child a controlled amount of frustration, you’re showing
confidence in her. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should leave her to
deal with a hopeless situation alone. There are certainly times she will
need your assistance. You can continue to be concerned and involved while
encouraging independence.
Strategies to Promote Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
In School
If you believe your child lacks self-esteem and/or self-confidence because of
problems he is having at school, talk to his teacher. If he is having
difficulty academically, perhaps the teacher can suggest ways to give him
opportunities to improve his self-confidence. For example, he could be
encouraged to work on projects that will utilize his talents. School
achievement is very important in the development of self-confidence.
At Home
1. Create and environment in your home that encourages the development of
self-esteem. According to Dr. Ida Greene, an expert on developing
self-esteem, the ingredients of such a home are:
·
Express love
·
Encourage goal-setting
·
Communicate honestly
·
Encourage independence
·
Define your family’s values
·
Create security and stability
·
Establish reasonable standards
·
Be consistent in your discipline
·
Create opportunities for success
·
Express faith in your child’s abilities
·
Praise your child’s accomplishments
·
Require age-appropriate responsibility
·
Provide emotional and academic support
If these ingredients are present in your home, your child will feel more secure,
will like and respect herself, and will consider herself to be worthwhile and
competent.
2. If your child’s poor self-esteem is chronic, she is probably suffering
from emotional problems. The reasons for these problems need to be
examined in counseling or psychotherapy. According to Greene, “Serious
self-esteem deficits will not disappear of their own accord. The child who
dislikes herself and feels “bad” will most likely continue to feel this way
throughout her life unless she receives help from a mental health professional.”
Academic success will not provide her much enjoyment or satisfaction. If
you get help for her before her bad feelings become permanent you will give her
a brighter future.
----------------------
Dr. Scoresby holds a Ph.D from the University of Minnesota in Counseling
Psychology and is the author of many books, including
Teaching Moral Development,
Focus on the Children and
Something Greater than Ourselves: The Exercise of Extraordinary Leadership.
He is the director of Knowledge Gain Accelerated Learning Center and president
of A. Lynn Scoresby & Associates, a leadership development firm.