News For
SWIM PARENTS
Published by The American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21 Ave., Suite 200
Fort Lauderdale FL 33309
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Watching Your Child at Swim Lessons or Swim Practice
By Guy Edson
For many years I watched my daughter swim under the
direction of other coaches. I have also watched her at basketball practice and
games, and dance, and figure skating. I know the joy of watching her in
these activities. I also know and understand the overwhelming desire to
direct, correct, encourage, and sometimes scold her at practice. But these
are not proper parental behaviors once I have released her into the care of a
coach or teacher. As a parent, I am not to interfere with the practice or
attempt to talk to my child during the practice session.
At swim
practice coaches want the children’s attention focused on the coach and the
tasks at hand. Occasionally children miss an instruction, or have a goggle
problem, or are involved in some other distraction, or are simply playing and
having fun – which are all normal behaviors for young children. Coaches
view these little difficulties as opportunities for the children to develop good
listening skills, ability to reason, and self discipline. Sometimes we
allow failure on purpose -- a missed instruction leaving the child confused
often results in the child learning to pay better attention the next time.
We endeavor to provide an environment for the children to develop these skills.
A well-intentioned and over-enthusiastic mom or dad sometimes has difficulty
allowing their child to miss something and wants to interfere. It’s
understandable.
We know
it is common in many other youth sports for parents to stand at the sidelines
and shout instructions or encouragements and sometimes admonishments to their
children. However, at swim practice coaches ask parents not to signal them
to swim faster, or to tell them to try a certain technique, or to offer to fix a
goggle problem, or to move away from some other “menacing” swimmer, or even to
remind them to listen to the coach. In fact, just as you would never
interrupt a school classroom to talk your child, you should not interrupt a swim
practice by attempting to communicate directly with your child.
What’s
wrong with encouraging your child during practice? There are two issues.
First we want your child to focus on the coach and to learn the skill for their
personal satisfaction rather than learning it to please their parents.
Secondly, parental encouragement often gets translated into a command to swim
faster and swimming faster may be the exact opposite of what the coach is trying
to accomplish. In most stroke skill development practices we first slow
the swimmers down so that they can think through the stroke motions. Save
encouragements and praise for after the practice session! This is the time
when you have your child’s full attention to tell them how proud you are of
them.
What’s
wrong with shouting or signaling instructions to your children? When I
watched my old daughter play in a basketball league I felt an overwhelming
desire to shout instructions to my child and so I understand the feelings that
most parents have. But those instructions might be different from the
coach’s instructions and then you end up with a confused child. Sometimes
you might think the child did not hear the coach’s instruction and you want to
help. Most of us do not want to see our own kids make a mistake. The
fact is that children miss instructions all the time. Part of the learning
process is learning how to listen to instructions. When children learn to
rely on a backup they will have more difficulty learning how to listen better
the first time.
As
parents, many of us want our children protected from discomfort and adversity
and we will attempt to create or place them in an environment free from
distress. So, what’s wrong with helping your child fix their goggles
during practice time? Quite simply, we want to encourage the children to
become self-reliant and learn to take care of and be responsible for themselves
and their own equipment. Swimming practice is a terrific place to learn
these life skills. Yes, even beginning at age 6 or 7.
If you
need to speak to your child regarding a family issue or a transportation issue
or to take your child from practice early you are certainly welcome to do so but
please approach the coach directly with your request and we will immediately get
your child out of the water. If you need to speak to the coach for other
reasons please wait until the end of practice.
Thanks
for bringing your children to swim practice. Every swim coach I know
coaches each child with care for their safety and concern for their social,
physical, learning skills, and life skills development.