News For
SWIM PARENTS
Published by The
American Swimming Coaches Association
5101 NW 21 Ave.,
___________________________________________________________________
Key To Goal
Setting: Parent Support
The goal of goal setting with young swimmers is to learn how
to set goals. With 10 and unders it is
important that they are successful at achieving the goals that the coach and
parents help them set.
However, part of learning how to set goals, and also a part
of growing up, is an occasional failure at achieving a goal. Failing to
meet a goal can have disastrous effects, or, can be part of a healthy growing
experience, depending on the support of parents and coach. While it is
probably not a good idea to allow 10 and unders to
set goals that they probably cannot reach, with 11 and 12 year olds, one
approach is to give them more freedom in selecting goals thus allowing them an
occasional "opportunity to fail".
When properly guided, a young person who fails to achieve a
goal can learn that success is often built upon failure. What would be
the parent, coach, swimmer relationship for goal setting for 11 - 12's?
For parents this can be a very challenging time. These young people are
beginning to experiment with independence. You may find that your
influence does not have the immediate impact that you are accustomed.
When suggesting goals to your young swimmer, regardless of how appropriate the
goals are, you are likely to find some resistance. However, the emotional
support a young swimmer needs at this age from you is as great as ever.
While the swimmer may not want to hear your suggestions for what to do in the
pool, they sure need your support for what they are attempting to do, and sometimes
fail to do.
Here are some questions you might ask your goal setting
young swimmer.
n Have you and Coach Andersen talked about your goals for the
season?
n What are the goals you have decided on?
n Did you write them down?
n What did Coach Andersen say you needed to work on in order to
reach your goals?
n Did you get any closer to your goals today?
The coach begins to take on a more influential role in the
swimming development of the young swimmer at this time. Swimmers
sometimes think, eat, breath, sleep, and swim according to the direction of the
coach and they may respond better to suggestions made by the coach than those
made by you. For example, you may be trying to improve the nutritional
aspects of your young swimmer's breakfast only to find a typical bit of
standard 11 and 12 resistance. However, when the coach
suggest the exact same advice to your swimmer he is ready to change his
breakfast routine the next day. For this reason, plus the fact that the coach
best knows the swimming abilities of your child, the primary influence in goal
setting for 11 - 12's is the coach.
The coach acts as a guide, asking your swimmer appropriate
questions to help him decide on goals. When your child has a goal in mind
and is convinced he can achieve that goal, coaches (and parents) should accept
it as a goal even if it seems too ambitious.
What happens when he fails to meet the goal? From you,
he needs unconditional support and careful guidance.
Let's consider a situation where 12 year old Bobby has a
best time of 1:07.5 in the 100 free, a "B" time. He has several
"B" times in other strokes but no "A" times. His
coach feels that a good goal for Bobby would be to make an "A" time
in the 100 free, 1:03.19. However, Bobby has set his own goal of breaking
a minute in the 100 free in the final "B" meet of the season.
He knows if he breaks a minute he will qualify for the Junior Olympics and gain
a spot on the relay. Contributing to Bobby's desire to qualify for Junior
Olympics this season is the fact that he turns 13 shortly after the meet and he
knows it will take a 55.3 to qualify for the next Junior Olympics as a 13 - 14
year old. Bobby also set three other goals which fall within the coaches
expectations so the coach allows Bobby this "opportunity to
fail".
During the season, Bobby makes steady progress as he drops
his time in the 100 free to 1:04.0 and he is still hoping to break a
minute. At the final "B" meet he goes a 1:03.0, a new
"A" time, and wins the event. The coach and Bobby's parents are
very pleased with his performance. Bobby, however, is dejected because he
did not make his goal of breaking a minute.
Bobby's parents, sitting in the bleachers, observe him
speaking with his coach. His mood does not noticeably change despite his
coaches' congratulatory gestures, smiling face, and reassuring words. Now
Bobby is on his way up into the bleachers to visit his parents. What's
important to say to Bobby?
n First, attend first to Bobby's physical needs, "Are you warm
enough? Please put on your warm ups. Do you need something to
drink?"
n Then, do not deny him the opportunity to express his
disappointment and do not minimize his feelings. You know it was a best
time, and you know it was a good race, but you will not be able to MAKE him
feel better by contradicting his feelings. Listen to him.
n Empathize with Bobby. Say, "I know how disappointed you
must be."
n Allow Bobby to find the solution to his disappointment.
"Why do you think you didn't make your goal?" Bobby can respond
to this question in one of several different ways and your follow up will be
based on that response. It is hard to generalize a conversation here, but
what is important to remember is that through your questions and his responses,
you want Bobby to realize that while his goal for breaking a minute is a good
goal, his timetable for breaking a minute was too short and there are more
things he needs to work on.
n Support Coach Anderson. Ask Bobby, "What did Coach
Anderson say?" "That sounds like a good idea,
do you think you can do that?"
The desired net result of the parent and athlete
relationship in this type of goal setting situation is that the athlete
receives support for his feelings and he comes to realize how to adjust his
goal setting in order to be more successful next time. With this result,
you'll find your young swimmer better equipped to establish his next set of
goals with the knowledge that he has your unconditional support.